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BOOM – Living in a Bumble world.

Alright – I’ve been kinda bizee and I had to force myself to write this but since it is Friday and since my wonderful beautiful, kind, caring, amazingly, gorgeous and utterly married with children friends have no clue what dating apps are, let alone how they work or what in the world I mean when I say “well I swiped right and then shook my phone really fast so I could left swipe just in the knick of time to avoid a huge cluster with Glen*.” This posts for you my dear loveys. You know who you are. (wink wink- there are more than one of you, too) *names are false and made up for dramatic effect. Cough, no coincidence to that majestic guy in the photo. He seems to be taken though, so once you learn how to ‘bumble’ after reading this post- don’t get your hopes up. Old photo. Sorry.

Bumble – my personal favorite- my friends’ friends’ friends and friends’ sisters’ personal favorite, so that’s legit

Bumble is easy to get started – why?

· it automatically loads your facebook profile pictures
· it doesn’t require you to write anything at all about yourself except your age and occupation- which also makes it scary becuz some dudes are lazy

Bumble is easy to use – why?

· You basically get a deck of playing cards and each “card” shows you a new potential match
· Each potential match has about 5 photos and if they decided to write a 200 word bio, you can read that, which tells you their university, if applicable, their occupation, again..IF FRICKIN’APPLICABLE (eyeroll) and their age, and FIRST NAME ONLY

Bumble is safe – why?

· First names only
· No locations – just miles away from you at that given moment (and ladies this is fun because I got to chat with some dudes from California here in middle of nowhere mountainsville that were in town shooting a MOVIE once just because they were down the street from me 0:)
· Only gives information that you choose to share or that links from Facebook
· Can only receive messages from someone you selected to receive messages from –“SWIPE RIGHT GIRL!” Don’t be stingy.

So How Does it Work?

· Like what you see? SWIPE RIGHT!!
· Don’t really like what you see? SWIPE LEFT!!
· Caution!!! If you swipe left, you may never ever see that guy again, no second chances ladies! So, if there’s a chance, just swipe right and give it a “hi” at least!
· Here is the NUMBER ONE thing I tell Bumble noobs, give it a few days before you think nobody is matching with you. The guy has to have time to see your profile and then swipe right before you can ever match with him. It takes days for me to get through 10 profiles. Remember, I am a bizee gal.
· My favorite thing about Bumble – when you get a match, it goes “BOOM!” you got a match! Hahaha! I live every moment of my bumble life for my “booms.” Once you ‘boom’ then you as the girl have 24 hours to say something, anything at all, which usually I ask them what fun thing they have done recently, but just say “hi! :)” If you fail to chat within 24 hours, they disappear and you lose them forever.  If you say hi, and they fail to respond within 24 hours, they lose you forever.

 

Rules oveerrrrr. Happy dating circa 2090.

Go “boom” your little hearts out, darlings!
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Frame It She Said.

As part of my job, I have the luxurious honor and privilege of attending the greatest events and meeting the biggest celebrities in all of Knoxville (pronounced ca-Knox-vull). This year’s biggest celebrity encounter: Prince Chariming, folks! Prince! Freaking! Charming! I found him, right there at Zoofari in Zoo Knoxville next to the new Tiger exhibit.  Right now, he is still a turtle… because toads are overrated and soOoOo 1850.

Side note: that tiger is about to maul that couple.

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When life gives you peaches…

So this house kitty got lost yesterday.. literally. Not metaphorically, because that happens to me everyday. And I pulled over to turn around but low and behold there was a peach stand right in front of me. I stopped, I had a ten dollar bill, I bought some peaches, and I left. Then this is what happened:

LOST GIRL PEACH COBBLER

Filling:

1-2 Peach(s) (diced/sliced/smashed/whatever)

1 dash Nutmeg

3 teaspoons Honey

1 tablespoons Brown Sugar

Topping:

1 Very Ripe Banana

3 tablespoons Flour

2 teaspoons Egg Replacer

1 tablespoon Ripple Vanilla (milk substitute)

1 dash Cinnamon

Then I baked it in the oven for 25 minutes at 350 degrees and ate ittttttttttttttt!!

My little breakfast heart is as happy as a puppy in a pool of dog food. And trust me, I grew up breeding these little puppers, and those pups lurve their little pools of dog food. They jump into the food bowl before they even start eating – hence “pool” of dog food.

So screw lemons, I want life to keep sending me these f*cking peaches!!!!

Also, this house kitty needs to stay indoors more often.

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Eccentrically Nice or Bitchy or On Drugs?

Well not exactly.

And I didn’t always know this is how I was who I am. It took a lot of self-reflection and soul-searching, but once I figured it out I finally quit worrying about relationships with people and just started giving love. The more I give love to people, the more God fills my cup of love to give. It’s a really cool concept I am sure I will get to talk a lot more about later.

Who I Am

There is so much behind my eyes and my tongue that gets processed in a split second… I can’t even get it off my lips fast enough and out to the people I love. There’s not enough time in the day. And love… I frickin love people. Why? I am pretty sure it is because I am what is called an “empath.” The best way to describe it goes like this:

The House Kitty-

· I don’t believe the words people say
· I don’t believe the actions people perform
· I don’t believe the looks others show
· I don’t believe the thoughts others think

I only trust the way I feel when I am listening to people’s words, seeing people in action, and tasting people’s energy they give off. I do not believe what others want me to believe. I feel the truth through some universal perspective. I sense vibrations and the vibrations don’t lie. Other people believe their own lies and I can still see that person’s vibrations of truth underneath it all.

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So what IS this?

Y’all be like, ” what’s your blog about?” Well, first of all….eye roll for dramatic effect…. it’s not just a blog, it’s a vlog too, okay? And then all I can really say for now is my blog-vlog, pronounced ‘blogvlog,’ without any pauses or breaths or spaces, is about all the things I think about in a day that I’ve always felt like I wasn’t “allowed” to think about during the day. The suppressed thoughts due to either time-constraints or those responsibilities of life and adulthood.  I am here to tell you that being an adult is hard and even though I did a good job at it for a while, I am ready to sit at home with all my thoughts and opinions, writing them out very particularly – and play!!! I’m basically a house kitty.