Alright – I’ve been kinda bizee and I had to force myself to write this but since it is Friday and since my wonderful beautiful, kind, caring, amazingly, gorgeous and utterly married with children friends have no clue what dating apps are, let alone how they work or what in the world I mean when I say “well I swiped right and then shook my phone really fast so I could left swipe just in the knick of time to avoid a huge cluster with Glen*.” This posts for you my dear loveys. You know who you are. (wink wink- there are more than one of you, too) *names are false and made up for dramatic effect. Cough, no coincidence to that majestic guy in the photo. He seems to be taken though, so once you learn how to ‘bumble’ after reading this post- don’t get your hopes up. Old photo. Sorry.
Bumble – my personal favorite- my friends’ friends’ friends and friends’ sisters’ personal favorite, so that’s legit
Bumble is easy to get started – why?
· it automatically loads your facebook profile pictures
· it doesn’t require you to write anything at all about yourself except your age and occupation- which also makes it scary becuz some dudes are lazy
Bumble is easy to use – why?
· You basically get a deck of playing cards and each “card” shows you a new potential match
· Each potential match has about 5 photos and if they decided to write a 200 word bio, you can read that, which tells you their university, if applicable, their occupation, again..IF FRICKIN’APPLICABLE (eyeroll) and their age, and FIRST NAME ONLY
Bumble is safe – why?
· First names only
· No locations – just miles away from you at that given moment (and ladies this is fun because I got to chat with some dudes from California here in middle of nowhere mountainsville that were in town shooting a MOVIE once just because they were down the street from me 0:)
· Only gives information that you choose to share or that links from Facebook
· Can only receive messages from someone you selected to receive messages from –“SWIPE RIGHT GIRL!” Don’t be stingy.
So How Does it Work?
· Like what you see? SWIPE RIGHT!!
· Don’t really like what you see? SWIPE LEFT!!
· Caution!!! If you swipe left, you may never ever see that guy again, no second chances ladies! So, if there’s a chance, just swipe right and give it a “hi” at least!
· Here is the NUMBER ONE thing I tell Bumble noobs, give it a few days before you think nobody is matching with you. The guy has to have time to see your profile and then swipe right before you can ever match with him. It takes days for me to get through 10 profiles. Remember, I am a bizee gal.
· My favorite thing about Bumble – when you get a match, it goes “BOOM!” you got a match! Hahaha! I live every moment of my bumble life for my “booms.” Once you ‘boom’ then you as the girl have 24 hours to say something, anything at all, which usually I ask them what fun thing they have done recently, but just say “hi! :)” If you fail to chat within 24 hours, they disappear and you lose them forever. If you say hi, and they fail to respond within 24 hours, they lose you forever.
Rules oveerrrrr. Happy dating circa 2090.