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Favorite Breakup Songs – When you hear a song and it hits a spot right in the feels.

It just happened to me. I woke up and started my daily work routine, ya know? Sit, wake up, drink coffee, turn on music, pick a genre– today’s was “Reloaded: 20 #1 Hits” by Blake Shelton… then I got to number 6 on the album, then somehow I just haven’t moved past number 6 on the album and it is 10am. I should be way beyond track 6 (do we even still call these “tracks” now? hello 2017, nice to meet you, I’m lost!) on this album by now, because we all know Blake Shelton makes no Pink Floydesque sized songs.  So what’s the deal?! Well, when I hear a song and it hits me at first, I just can’t move on. I listen and listen and listen. Embarrassingly enough, Google Play – my personal music listening apparatus of choice – keeps track of the number of times I listen to each individual song, and let me tell you people, YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW! Even I, The House Kitty, am embarrassed on some of these. Eventually I will make a list of those and share them with you, but in honor of today’s track 6 on Blake Shelton’s Reloaded: 20 #1 Hits – I present to you my favorite ten (in NO particular order!!!) Breakup Songs at the moment… and no, I am not going through a breakup, I would have had to have been in a relationship for there to be a breakup, but a house kitty can still love a good breakup song any time.

Heart music

Favorite Breakup Songs at the Moment

  • Mine Would Be You – Blake Shelton (mmhmm, this is the above mentioned track)
  • Hit Me With Your Best Shot – Pat Benatar (because bring it, beech)
  • Every Little Thing – Carly Pearce (‘If My Name Was Whiskey’ is pretty darn good too, but I couldn’t but both her songs on here..)
  • Either Way – Chris Stapleton (mmmm…. voice. *drool**forgets breakup**drools more*)
  • Vice – Miranda Lambert (yes, this might be the most listened to song in my library.. eek)
  • Should’ve Been Us – Tori Kelly (Yeah, right! … right? eh, idk!)
  • Here’s to Us – Ellie Goulding (just precious. This was aired on the episode of GIRLS where Marnie finds herself with… no spoilers, but watch it.)
  • Love Yourself – The Beibs (because c’mon, you know this song feels so good to sing when you’re really upset about someone)
  • Really Don’t Care – Demi Lovato (see above… both Justin Beiber and comment about feeling good when singing, ha!)
  • Feeling Myself – Nikki Minaj (because this is what we all should be doing when we are on our own now)
  • Bonus: Woman – Kesha (if you’re feeling 100% and want to keep going, listen to this one to push yourself to put your hot clothes on and forget the breakup even happened.)

YOU ROCK and YOU GOTTA OWN IT! GET IT!! GO GET OUT THERE, ‘FEEL YOURSELF’ 100% Like Nikki would, ‘LOVE YOURSELF’ more than Justin Beiber ever could!

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Are you serious Dog Breed Matcher Quiz?! The Peruvian Inca Orchid

I'm thinking about getting a dog. I am struggling about making sure I get the right breed for my lifestyle- being a house kitty and all… cuddly, forgetful, irresponsible at times, always playing, escaping for too long, loves napping in quiet, doesn't want to go for long walks unless it is on a treadmill, etc. and THIS is what the American Kennel Club matched me with. I don't think it's an actual dog. This looks like a river monster from that tv show on the Discovery channel. But I shall get one and he shall be named 'Dragon.'

Why 'Dragon' the Peruvian Inca Orchid (not a flower, but also not a dog) is a good fit for me

  • Size: Small
  • Fur: Short coat (although looks like none at all to me)
  • Trainability: Independent and noble
  • Grooming Required: literally, rare. (Yuck)

#someonefindmeadoodlethingy

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How to Decorate a Magic Wand: A Pondering By THK

This is a post I wrote the very first day I started my blog. This is a perfect example of something my distracted mind thinks about for a moment during the day but typically I would push it away and bring some Jedi master mind game and wipe it from my memory. Um, The House Kitty says no, let's play!

First of all, my magic wand needs to be made of some cool @$$ material- like the fossilized powder dust of wooly mammoths mixed with crushed pearls. You can feel free to use anything, garbage bags, dehydrated mushrooms.. whatever you love or whatever you think is totally rad. I knew a guy that thought penguins were cool, so I bet he would like the base of his wand to be made out of penguin pebbles. Because we aren't going to use anything that would harm anybody. Okay? Good.

So once I somehow magically got my wooly mammoth fossils to form the shape of a wand, which would be cool if it were swirly and not just a straight wand, but to each his own! You need some bling or some bedazzle, so get that glue out, you cats! I am going to use hot glue because apparently I am a fan of burning my fingerprints off. Oh well.

Things to Glue On My Wand From Bottom to Top, Row by Row:

  • Pennies, bright shiny ones for good luck
  • Lisa Frank erasers – if you don't know what these are, click here
  • Skittles, the tropical flavors bag
  • Swarovski crystals, all the kinds and colors- because of Mercedes can do it, why not me?!
  • Feathers, just sticking up all over the place coming out straight from the top

How would you decorate your wand? I dare you to think about it. 😛

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The Odyssey- My Road Trip Across America: A Free Country


Nine days. Nine states. Three ladies. One car. Too many miles to add because I don't really like math.

🎵We're Off To See The Colorado.. the wonderful Colorado of Oz 🎵

We started out in Knoxville, TN. We stopped for a bathroom break on Broadway Avenue in downtown Nashville, TN to hear live music for, oh, about 9.7 seconds and show my niece Tootsies! Yee-haw! I am fairly certain that every song I have ever heard played live in Nashville has always and forever been " I should've been a cowboy," and today didn't disappoint. Is every failed cowboy a musician or is every failed musician a wannabe cowboy? The world will never know…

^^^definitely never been a cowboy.

The Odyssey Plan:

Day 1: Knoxville > Nashville > St. Louis > Kansas City (MISSOURI or KANSAS?!? Which one!! This has concerned me for the months I've been planning!!)
Day 2: KC > Colorado Springs — because let's be honest, there ain't nothing in Kansas, Dorothy.
Day 3: Garden of the Gods, Manitou
Day 4: "Nowhere on a mountain, there's an X on the map we sent you, but it's close to Hayden, CO. But we promise you will love it!" – Aunt Barbara
Day 5: Grand Junction/Wyoming
Day 6: Albuquerque
Day 7: Amarillo > Oklahoma City
Day 9: Memphis > Knoxville

Day 10: sleepzzzzzz

But because this is a plan and because I am the house kitty, who knows where I will end up!!

And Because Adventure!

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BOOM – Living in a Bumble world.

Alright – I’ve been kinda bizee and I had to force myself to write this but since it is Friday and since my wonderful beautiful, kind, caring, amazingly, gorgeous and utterly married with children friends have no clue what dating apps are, let alone how they work or what in the world I mean when I say “well I swiped right and then shook my phone really fast so I could left swipe just in the knick of time to avoid a huge cluster with Glen*.” This posts for you my dear loveys. You know who you are. (wink wink- there are more than one of you, too) *names are false and made up for dramatic effect. Cough, no coincidence to that majestic guy in the photo. He seems to be taken though, so once you learn how to ‘bumble’ after reading this post- don’t get your hopes up. Old photo. Sorry.

Bumble – my personal favorite- my friends’ friends’ friends and friends’ sisters’ personal favorite, so that’s legit

Bumble is easy to get started – why?

· it automatically loads your facebook profile pictures
· it doesn’t require you to write anything at all about yourself except your age and occupation- which also makes it scary becuz some dudes are lazy

Bumble is easy to use – why?

· You basically get a deck of playing cards and each “card” shows you a new potential match
· Each potential match has about 5 photos and if they decided to write a 200 word bio, you can read that, which tells you their university, if applicable, their occupation, again..IF FRICKIN’APPLICABLE (eyeroll) and their age, and FIRST NAME ONLY

Bumble is safe – why?

· First names only
· No locations – just miles away from you at that given moment (and ladies this is fun because I got to chat with some dudes from California here in middle of nowhere mountainsville that were in town shooting a MOVIE once just because they were down the street from me 0:)
· Only gives information that you choose to share or that links from Facebook
· Can only receive messages from someone you selected to receive messages from –“SWIPE RIGHT GIRL!” Don’t be stingy.

So How Does it Work?

· Like what you see? SWIPE RIGHT!!
· Don’t really like what you see? SWIPE LEFT!!
· Caution!!! If you swipe left, you may never ever see that guy again, no second chances ladies! So, if there’s a chance, just swipe right and give it a “hi” at least!
· Here is the NUMBER ONE thing I tell Bumble noobs, give it a few days before you think nobody is matching with you. The guy has to have time to see your profile and then swipe right before you can ever match with him. It takes days for me to get through 10 profiles. Remember, I am a bizee gal.
· My favorite thing about Bumble – when you get a match, it goes “BOOM!” you got a match! Hahaha! I live every moment of my bumble life for my “booms.” Once you ‘boom’ then you as the girl have 24 hours to say something, anything at all, which usually I ask them what fun thing they have done recently, but just say “hi! :)” If you fail to chat within 24 hours, they disappear and you lose them forever.  If you say hi, and they fail to respond within 24 hours, they lose you forever.

 

Rules oveerrrrr. Happy dating circa 2090.

Go “boom” your little hearts out, darlings!
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Frame It She Said.

As part of my job, I have the luxurious honor and privilege of attending the greatest events and meeting the biggest celebrities in all of Knoxville (pronounced ca-Knox-vull). This year’s biggest celebrity encounter: Prince Chariming, folks! Prince! Freaking! Charming! I found him, right there at Zoofari in Zoo Knoxville next to the new Tiger exhibit.  Right now, he is still a turtle… because toads are overrated and soOoOo 1850.

Side note: that tiger is about to maul that couple.

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When life gives you peaches…

So this house kitty got lost yesterday.. literally. Not metaphorically, because that happens to me everyday. And I pulled over to turn around but low and behold there was a peach stand right in front of me. I stopped, I had a ten dollar bill, I bought some peaches, and I left. Then this is what happened:

LOST GIRL PEACH COBBLER

Filling:

1-2 Peach(s) (diced/sliced/smashed/whatever)

1 dash Nutmeg

3 teaspoons Honey

1 tablespoons Brown Sugar

Topping:

1 Very Ripe Banana

3 tablespoons Flour

2 teaspoons Egg Replacer

1 tablespoon Ripple Vanilla (milk substitute)

1 dash Cinnamon

Then I baked it in the oven for 25 minutes at 350 degrees and ate ittttttttttttttt!!

My little breakfast heart is as happy as a puppy in a pool of dog food. And trust me, I grew up breeding these little puppers, and those pups lurve their little pools of dog food. They jump into the food bowl before they even start eating – hence “pool” of dog food.

So screw lemons, I want life to keep sending me these f*cking peaches!!!!

Also, this house kitty needs to stay indoors more often.